Jigsaw LLC

Thoughts

Movie Products Made Real – Our Wishlist

— Culture & Observations —

So you may have heard that Pepsi is launching a special limited edition “Pepsi Perfect,” the very Pepsi product that Marty McFly ordered during his visit to 2015 from 1985. It was merely a fictional product, but has now been brought to life for a mere $20+ bottle. It’s a fun concept, and while Pepsi Perfect might not have been my top choice for Back to the Future made reality (seriously—I’d spend that same $20 on a Mr. Fusion in a heartbeat) it’s always neat when brands and films find clever ways to piggy-back each other.

pepsiperfect

copyright: PepsiCo

Of course, this is hardly the first time it’s happened. Bubba Gump Shrimp broke from the big screen to reality only two years after Forrest Gump back in the 90s. And thanks to Jelly Belly, Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Beans continue to delight and disgust any muggle taste buds brave enough to risk flavors like “earthworm” or “vomit” (mine are not.)

In the spirit of Pepsi Perfect and its movie-to-reality brethren, I thought it would be fun to ask around the Jigsaw offices and see which fictional products everyone was most hoping might make a real-world debut one day. The results were wide-ranging, and in some cases quite disturbing.

As would be expected, the office gadget-fanatics quickly rose to the occasion. Dave Hanneken expressed an interest in the sub-dermal palm phone seen in the Total Recall reboot, while Dave Refinski took a more classic approach with Al Cervik’s multi-functional golf bag in Caddyshack. Steve Wold originally hoped to get his hands on some Sex Panther cologne, only to discover that it’s already a frighteningly real product, so instead cast his vote for anything from ACME Co’s extensive line of ill-conceived roadrunner-hunting contraptions. Johnny Abbate has simpler tastes, and would content himself with Demolition Man’s infamous three seashells (or failing that, the Demolition Man precinct dinging swear-o-meter—especially if it also posted tweets.)

Gadgets were popular, but it was actually beer and food that took center stage. Erin Reising would love to get her hands on some Shotz Beer from Laverne & Shirley, while Joanne Droese has her eyes on Helium Beer (which is actually from YouTube, but we’ll count it anyways because Joanne’s a rule-breaker.) Alex Mora and Steve Marsho crave the secrets of Ed’s Secret Sauce from Goodburger and the Spongebob Squarepants Crabby Patties, respectively. And then there’s Mike Luedke, who initially wanted a Star Trek Holodeck but then retracted his statement for fear readers would assume he had unsavory plans for it—and instead settled for a Big Kahuna Burger from Pulp Fiction.

Convenience was another popular focus, especially amongst Jigsaw’s art directors. Beki Gonzalez and Heather Bolyard both want a machine to help them get ready in the morning, with Beki’s inspiration coming from The Jetsons and Heather’s from Wallace & Grommet. Anne Linginfelter just wants the “Chicken Good” instant meal machine from Fifth Element. But then Cory pulled out all the stops by wishing for a Replicant from Blade Runner’s Tyrrel Corporation to help her with desk cleaning and entering hours. However, she did acknowledge the need to “be careful of mutiny.”

jetsons1

copyright: Hanna-Barbera

And of course Jigsaw has its fashionistas. Amanda Janssen-Egan hopes to see “Ichiban, Lipstick for Men” from Friends become a real product because “it’s blue, and blue is manly.” Matt O’Donnell won’t likely be painting his lips, though, as his old fashioned tastes led him to wish some Dapper Dan Pomade as seen in OhBrother, Where Art Thou?

Of all our illustrious coworkers, only two of them put the betterment of humankind first. Lindsay Nalbert humbly asked for a Baymax from Big Hero 6 to help solve the world’s healthcare woes, while Jen Thomas wants to end world hunger courtesy of the Flint Diatonic Super Mutating Dynamic Food Replicator from Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs. Clearly Lindsay and JT are the best among us.

baymax

copyright: Walt Disney

On the other extreme, there were some product wishes that edged towards the scarily honest (and sometimes creepy.) Eric Sandoval wants a Men In Black neurolizer, but declined to say what he plans to use it for. Marty Defatte wants to try a Full Body Latte from Starbucks Exotic Coffee for Men, as seen in Idiocracy. But both of these are downright tame when compared to Michael Spredeman’s desire to lather up with some Fight Club Lipo-Fat Soap, made from real human fat.

I don’t know that this little research project yielded any useful results or grand insights, but at least I’ll have some Secret Santa ideas come the holidays. Meantime, I guess we’ll all have to wait to see the reviews of Pepsi Perfect to learn whether it tastes retro-futuristic, or if it’s just regular Pepsi in a fancy package. And maybe I’ll check to see if Amazon is finally selling some Dr. Flim-Flam’s Miracle Cream.

Gerard Heidgerken
Posted by Gerard Heidgerken