A disclaimer. And a welcome to our new writer
As a copywriter, I’ve always been fascinated by the disclaimer copy, the tiny mouse type you see in advertising all the time that is essentially there because a lawyer said it has to be there. I have my own personal favorites. At one time I wanted to create a coffee table book of nothing but disclaimers, because I thought that, out of context, they took on a different meaning.
*Use only as directed.
*Celebrity voice impersonated.
*This page intentionally left blank.
*Odds of winning, 1:1,000,000.
*Caution contents hot.
There’s a ton of great disclaimers. They seem silly and over time, have kind of become invisible. The glut of pharmaceutical advertising has brought the idea of disclaimers back to the forefront of our collective minds. When an announcer starts rattling off the common side effects of a drug, they sometimes seem to be the most attention grabbing part of the spot (aside from the fact that the Viagra couple are in separate bathtubs, but that’s another story).
*If you experience chest pain, nausea, or any other discomforts during sex, seek immediate medical help.
Um, I don’t think you have to be taking viagra to know this, but anyhoo …
This comes to mind, the day before Jigsaw welcomes a new writer into the fold by the name of Dione (pronounced Dee-on) Baker. Dione is great, super funny, kind of like someone who could have been my sister. She knows as much about Woody Allen movies as I do. In celebration of her joining us, I decided to write some disclaimers about Jigsaw, especially for her, so as to cover my you know what in case certain situations arise. So here goes:
*Jigsaw in no way is a reference to “puzzles” or “interlocking pieces.”
*Common side effects may include rewrites and Stella Artois.
*Your current Facebook status does not reflect the opinions of Jigsaw LLC, and it’s partners.
*Required footwear includes slippers.
*Nick Pipitone is not a licensed therapist, but will provide therapy at your own risk.