It's the attack of the attack ads!
Hey good news! The election season is almost over. But now, in the last week, we are in for it! It’s an attack ad extravaganza! An onslaught of haymakers are being thrown — democrat to republican, republican to democrat and tea partier to everyone else. It’s ugly, entertaining, infuriating. It’s like a chronically unfunny celebrity roast. Except for the “rent is way too high” guy. Now he’s funny.
But these are not laughing matters, obviously. We have serious matters to consider! Billions of dollars have been wasted on something called pork! And taxes! Healthcare? And more pork! The price of pork has gone up but my supermarket still sells it relatively affordably. But that’s besides the point! There’s stimulus plans to fight about! Would you stop talking over me? Have you no civility? No decency?
Still the mud is going to fly. Wait, it doesn’t just fly — it is jettisoning itself off of television screens! Poorly art directed direct mailers! Televised debates are like mudslinging cage matches! They’re mud projectiles!
But wait, are you a deodorant manufacturer? With all the mud flying around, people tend to get, um, dirty, right? Which means it’s likely that a shower is in order. And after their shower, they’re going to need a deodorant, right? Maybe you, deodorant manufacturer, should start slinging some mud yourself! Go right after your competition with fighting words! Hey! Do an attack ad!
Oh but wait, this is an ad for Canada’s #1 men’s deodorant. Don’t they have universal healthcare? That apparently doesn’t work!
I obviously need to get off my horse.